Bound by Trust Read online

  She must have sensed she was no longer alone, because she turned and looked at him with hollow eyes filled with unspent tears. The sparkle he’d first been attracted to was gone, and he knew it was his fault it was so.

  “What do you want?” she said flatly.

  “I came to apologize.” He walked over and squatted down beside her. Fresh air, sunshine, and pure femininity emanated from her. Now that he knew she wasn’t taken, the consuming desire he’d felt for her all weekend was reawakened and circulated through him. “Your friend Jared explained to me how wrong I was.”

  “What exactly did he tell you?”

  She could smell him as well. He’d had a shower and the clean smell of his soap and after shave assaulted her senses and sent her reeling. It was pronounced and raw, or maybe she was just hypersensitive to it. The effect it was having on her further drove the anger she felt toward him. She didn’t want to feel the attraction to him that overwhelmed her, and now that she knew what it could lead to, she certainly didn’t want to acknowledge it.

  “He told me about your husband and that there isn’t anything between the two of you. I was crass, and I assumed way too much. I’m sorry, for your loss, and the way I acted. But I’m not sorry for what happened Friday night. I haven’t been able to get you off my mind since then.”

  He was too close, the heat she’d felt earlier came back. It engulfed her and made her ashamed to be a woman. She needed to be away from him before she thought twice about giving in to her carnal desires despite the hate welling up inside her. Shamefully, she wanted to let him comfort her, to let him take her in his arms and run his hands over her and make her forget how upside down her world really was.

  “Well, you’ll just have to because that was a one-time thing. I’m not in the market for a relationship, and from what I’ve heard about you, you aren’t either, so we should just try to get past it and move on. Now, please forgive me for being rude, but I need to go back.” She rose to leave. “My things will be here tomorrow and I need to rest before then.”

  She turned to go, but he caught her by the wrist and pulled her back. “I’m not the enemy, Madi, and I don’t think we can get past it. Don’t tell me you didn’t feel what I did.” He watched her lips quiver wanting nothing more than to possess them and taste her again.

  “Really? Not the enemy? What are you then?” Her heart raced at the pressure and heat of his fingers on her bare flesh. He was right; she did feel it, no matter how much she wanted to deny it. “I’m not so sure you’re a friend, either.”

  His lips taunted her as she remembered how they had seared her skin, and a renewed sense of need swept between her legs. How could she hate someone so much for hurting her and at the same time want to tear her clothes off and let him have his way with her?

  Before she could think any further and give him an answer, he took her head in his hands and his mouth descended on hers. At first he just brushed her lips, then he pulled back and looked into her eyes. When she didn’t protest he landed on them again, teasing them with his tongue and prying them open. He tasted of mint and hops, and he was warm and inviting. He kissed her so gently, running his tongue along hers, she thought for a moment she was dreaming it from wanting him so much. Willingly she let him in and caressed him back. He deepened the kiss and she shuddered, affirming she sensed whatever it was happening between them. She put her palms on his chest, pulled loose, and pushed him back.

  “Don’t ever do that again.” She spun around and started back up the hill.

  “Don’t try to tell me you didn’t enjoy that.” He caught up with her and took her by the arm again.

  “Whether I did or didn’t isn’t relevant. It can’t happen again. Now let go of me and leave me alone.”

  He watched her disappear over the ridge and wondered what it was about her that made him think with only a couple of his brain cells at once. What really puzzled him was that her rejection bothered him. He could have any one of several women at his beck and call, but he had to want the one who didn’t want him back.

  * * * *

  A moving truck was in Madi’s driveway when Rafe came in from work the next evening. Her whole life with someone was in the back of that truck and now it was hers alone. Something in him wanted to go over there and help, but the memory of her eyes when they’d parted last night kept him from it. He understood why she was still angry with him. He’d hurt her, however unintentional it had been. And whatever it was that made him want her so damn bad was past his understanding, and he’d been dwelling on it all day. To the point, in fact, that his fellow Marines had asked him repeatedly if he felt okay.

  He took a seat on his porch and watched as the movers dragged boxes and furniture off the truck for another two hours. Finally, they struggled to get the last crate off. What was in the immense box Rafe could only speculate. They took it up the steps across the wraparound porch and through the French doors that faced his house. They pried the slats back one at a time finally revealing a…baby grand piano? So, she was musically inclined. CeCe sometimes played the piano in the evenings in the same room. It would drift out and he’d listen from his porch. He’d missed that, and had been sorry to see her old upright being hauled away with the rest of her things after her funeral.

  * * * *

  With the sun just shimmering off the dew that had fallen across the lawn and lilac bushes in the early morning, Madi stood on the porch and waved until Jared’s truck was out of sight. The week had flown by. It was Friday, and she was alone. This was the first day of the rest of her new life. She wandered back inside and looked around at the boxes still sitting all over the place. It was a daunting task that awaited her, one she just simply did not feel like dealing with today. Today she was determined not to stay here by herself and let loneliness creep in, making her miserable again.

  “Madi?” Julia Collier had picked up on the second ring. “You’re sure up early. Is everything okay?”

  “Good morning, Mama. Yes, everything is fine.” She thumbed through her clothes trying to decide what to wear while she talked. “I was thinking, maybe two old widow women could go shopping and then meet their third wheel for lunch.”

  “I would love that. And I’m sure Meredith would as well. We wanted to come by earlier this week, but we knew with the movers and Jared being there…have you met your neighbor?”

  My God, Rafe McCarthy was the last thing she wanted to think of today.

  “Yes, he’s a pain in the ass.”

  Julia laughed. “So, I’ll just get ready and meet you out there in a while.”

  Two hours later her mother walked in to find her measuring windows.

  “Well, what are we shopping for today? Clothes, shoes, men?” Julia found a pitcher of tea in the refrigerator and poured herself a glass.

  “No, nothing quite that glamorous.” Madi poured another glass and joined her mother on the couch. “Paint, floor refinishing supplies, and a roofer.”

  “Well, the third thing counts as a man.”

  Julia Collier had been suppressed her entire life by her husband, Thomas. Although she was saddened by his passing, it hadn’t taken her long to recover and get back on the dating scene. Through Meredith’s regular updates, Madi knew that she switched men often, went to singles’ bars, and age wasn’t a discerning factor in her choice of partners. Maybe she needed to be the one to hook up with Rafe. Madi was discovering the whole one-time scene wasn’t to her liking. All week she’d watched him come and go, and all week her body had been shouting at her like an addict needing a fix.

  “Are you telling me the roof is still leaking then?”

  “Yes, in two spots that I can tell.” Madi set her glass down and started to slip on her tennis shoes. “I need to get it taken care of before I start putting a lot away, only to have it get wet.”

  “Well, I can tell you, CeCe had the Dillon boys come over last summer and give her an estimate. It wasn’t pretty.”

  “How much are we talking?”

&
nbsp; “Almost ten thousand dollars.”

  Madi put her hands on her face and shook her head. This was not what she needed to hear. If she spent that kind of money, she’d have to take a job at McDonald’s to make ends meet before she had enough students lined up to subsist. With a Master’s Degree in music she should have been a shoo-in for a teaching position, but with so many schools cutting back, and music programs taking the brunt of the axing, those jobs were few and far between.

  “You know, I could help you, Madi.” Julia twisted one of her frosted locks around her forefinger. “Your father was a domineering ass, but he did leave me set up.”

  “No, Mama, I didn’t come home to mooch. I need to do this on my own. It isn’t anyone’s fault but my own that I blindly let Gage piss away so much money. He always told me he would take care of the finances so I wouldn’t have to worry with it. I was so gullible. I won’t let it happen again, I can assure you. And I definitely wouldn’t have another one in the military, if I was offered a million dollars. I will never go through this again.”

  “Well, no need in dwelling on all that now.” Julia got up and headed for the door. “We have shopping to do.”

  Their first stop was at a Lowe’s that hadn’t even existed when Madi still lived at home. A very nice older gentleman helped her figure out how many gallons of paint she needed to cover every square inch of wall and then began aiding her in choosing colors. She decided on an antique white for the bedrooms, a creamy pale yellow for the kitchen and slightly darker yellow resembling sunflowers for the dining room, an aqua for the bathroom, and light cocoa for the living room. She’d never been able to paint the walls in base housing and decided she wanted a house full of color to make up for lost time.

  “Just let me get someone to help you figure out what to do with your floors.” The graying man winked at Julia while he talked to Madi, then wandered off looking for a flooring specialist.

  “I think you have yet another admirer, Mama.” Madi tossed paint brushes of all shapes and sizes in her cart. “Don’t you ever worry that maybe these guys are just after what Daddy left you?”

  “Oh, sweetie, I don’t intend to marry any of them. I’m just messing around.” Julia was reapplying lipstick using the top of one of the shiny paint cans as a mirror.

  “Well, you need to be careful, there’s a lot out there that didn’t exist forty years ago.”

  “Madi, I know what AIDS is, and I know what condoms are for.” She whipped out a carton from her purse and waved them around. “See, I’m being safe.”

  “Mama! Next you’ll be telling me you go to that naughty store with Meredith.”

  “Well, since you mentioned it…”

  “I don’t want to hear anymore.” Madi put her hands over her ears and was thankful to see George, the paint man, returning with a much younger floor ‘expert.’

  His name tag said ‘Scott’ and when she looked at his face, a wave of familiarity washed over her. Could he actually be Scott Tillman? One of the boys she used to date in high school?

  “Madi? Madi Collier?” His face lit up and he reached out and took her hands in his, looking her up and down. “My goodness, it has been a long time. You look as good as you ever did.”

  “Thanks, Scott, you look pretty good yourself.” Liar. Well, it wasn’t a complete falsehood; he did look pretty good, except for the fact that he’d gained about fifty pounds and had a bald head.

  “I heard you were moving into CeCe’s old place. How are you holding up?” His face sombered as he turned her left hand and looked at the indention where her wedding band used to sit. “It must be so hard.”

  “You’ve no idea.” She tugged her hands away and began to push the cart. “I need everything it takes to refinish floors and I need to know how to use it.”

  Soon Scott had another cart laden with a sander, varnish, and a clear sealant, and was instructing her how to use the sander without gouging great holes in the wood or damaging herself in the process. After ten years of plumbing mishaps, retiling bathroom floors, and learning to groom dogs with her neighbor so when no one on the block could afford that luxury, they could help, sanding floors sounded like a cinch.

  “You know, I could save you the trouble of doing all this and come over and help you,” he offered, beaming from ear to ear.

  “No, that’s okay. I’m sure your family keeps you too busy for that.” She knew he’d married right out of high school. “How many kids do you have now?”

  “I have seven.” Scott looked at her intently. “You never had kids, did you?”

  The memory of Shannon stung even after so much time had passed. Did the man have no scruples, or had he heard every rumor there was about her, save the true one as to why she married to begin with? She decided to forego that line of conversation.

  “You and your wife must be very proud of them.”

  “Oh, we’re divorced. She went to Phoenix and left them with me last year.” Scott pushed one cart and she the other. “Maybe we could get together sometime for coffee?”

  “I’ll be awfully busy for a while; I’ll have to take a rain check, but thanks for asking.”

  She paid for all her purchases and George marked it all for delivery on Monday. Normally they didn’t deliver paint, but with so much of it, she would never get it in her car. She opted to pay a hefty delivery fee and get it all at once. Except for the cocoa paint. That she took with her. She wanted to get started on the room where she would be giving lessons, that was a priority.

  “Madi, I think Scott was hitting on you.” Her mother sat in the passenger seat checking her hair in the vanity mirror.

  “Gee, you think?” She gave life to a cynical laugh.

  “I got George’s number; we’re going out tomorrow night.”

  “I figured as much, he probably thinks you’re a sure thing, carrying your own condoms.”

  “Madi, I am not loose, just prepared.” Julia looked shocked at her daughter’s insinuation.

  “I’m sorry, Mama.” Madi paused and rubbed her eyes before backing out of the parking space. “I think the whole kids’ conversation got to me.”

  “That’s okay. And I am sorry you had to be reminded of that situation again.” Julia put on her huge sunglasses. “You know, it isn’t too soon to start dating, maybe it would be good for you to get out there again.”

  “Dating means trusting, something I am sadly lacking the ability to do right now.”

  After a quick stop at a home accessories store to price curtains and rugs, they made their way to a small deli just outside the base to meet Meredith for lunch. She was already there waiting in a booth for them, dressed as always in the most seductive thing Madi had ever seen. Well, since the last time she’d seen her anyway. She always managed to wear the sleaziest things and make them look good. Today it was a red, backless minidress with a plunging v-neckline that tied around her neck. A pair of red platform flip-flops with silver sequins across the straps showed off her perfectly French pedicured toes, and she had her hair dyed auburn with golden streaks running through it. One could change toenails and hairstyles often when they worked in a salon.

  Meredith was another one of their father’s disappointments in life. Six years Madi’s junior, she had managed to get pregnant her senior year in high school, just months after Madi, and was now a single mother to a nine-year-old daughter named Nevaeh whom everyone lovingly tagged Nev. She was as beautiful as her mother, and would someday break a lot of hearts. Chad, her father, had dumped Meredith almost immediately after her announcement that he was to be a daddy and rarely saw the girl now. As a result, Meredith chose to remain single, deeming men only good for one thing, and sometimes not even that. Madi often wondered if she’d led her down that path by being a less than admirable example.

  “Madi!” Meredith jumped up and hugged her older sister around the neck. “Oh, I’ve missed you.”

  “I’ve missed you too.” Madi waited for her mother to slide in the booth, then followed her. “What do
es Marco think of your dress?”

  Marco was the self-proclaimed eccentric who owned the salon Meredith worked in. Madi was convinced if her sister ever gave him the chance, he’d marry her and never let her work a day in her life again. But, as with all things pertaining to men, Meredith refused to acknowledge Madi’s observation while repeatedly ignoring Marco’s advances, yet forever teasing the poor man with her clothing choices.

  “He loves it and wishes I would let him see what I have on underneath.”

  “Well, I see where Mom takes it from.” Madi picked up a menu and skimmed over it. She was never hungry anymore; she only ate because physiologically it was necessary to keep breathing.

  “Lighten up, Madi. If I were in your shoes, I’d be wondering what was underneath that uniform on that neighbor of yours.”

  “Who, Rafe?” She screwed up her eyebrows and frowned. Heat rose up her neck. “I could care less what he wears or why.”

  “She says he’s a pain in the ass,” Julia whispered over her menu.

  “Well, what did he do to you? Or maybe it’s what he hasn’t done?” Meredith smiled demurely. “Come on now, tell us.”

  Madi plopped the menu down and blew out a loud breath, feeling like a neon sign had suddenly appeared on her forehead, flashing the news of what had happened between them. “Why must everything be about sex?”

  “Who said anything about sex? If that’s the problem I know where you can get a very good friend named Bob.” Meredith took a sip of her tea.

  “I don’t need a Bob.” Again heat ran up her neck and to her hairline.

  “You don’t need a Bob. After how many months has it been? Almost twenty-four? And you don’t need a Bob?”

  Madi mottled every shade of red on the color wheel.